Diary of a Glad African Woman–Part 3

13 Nov

Yesterday I was on a 3 hour train journey,I was seated beside a beautiful African woman. I was chatting (typing) with a mate on my Blackberry and I hear her say “what is with this generation and the need for constant communication”. I turn to look at her and laugh, we begin discussing and she shares her story with me.

She has never been married and is 40 years old. She has not exactly given up on the idea of marriage. She has been engaged twice but never made it to the altar. The main problem was that the men could not get over her success. She sits over millions and has built a successful business from scratch. Both men had always said this was not a problem but a few months to the wedding started showing insecurities. Both times she called off the marriage. Now she has been in an on and off relationship with a guy for 5 years. He wants to get married but she is afraid of committing because of what happened in the past. She knows she may not be able to have her own kids anymore and is open to the idea of adoption in future. She spends a lot of time with her nieces and nephews who are very fond of her. In her business more than half of her employees are male. She has been said to adopt a more masculine approach at work like a lot of successful business women. However when doing business deals she still has to prove herself all the time. She cooks, she bakes, and she makes her own pizzas from scratch. She is very intelligent and did very well in school. She has won a number of awards for her achievements. She is a philanthropist and is often called to give empowering speeches to women.
I thought this African woman was a very ardent independent woman. However I am aware that the world may frown at a woman who has called off two weddings and is refusing to commit to her present relationship. The world would perhaps feel sorry for her as she has no children to call her own and share her wealth with. The world should not judge this woman; she got success at a young age and it’s a baggage she has to carry with her for the rest of her life. Will men ever get over their insecurities when dealing with such a successful woman?

This is the 21st century personally I would want to have it all balanced properly; the family, the home, the career. This I am told is a close to unattainable combination.

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