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Happy New Year!

7 Jan

2014Happy New Year…we made it to 2014

Hello people welcome to the New Year! Yes I know I have been AWOL from here for a minute that’s what happens when life happens. 2013 was significant in some ways, I was tested by many means and I survived it all. Few closed chapters in my life, turning points, and most importantly surplus Joy and laughter… There were moments of uncertainty and doubt as well as moments of endurance and confidence.

Here are a few dominant personal trends of mine in 2013:- African Literature, music, hip hop music, American TV shows, ratchet reality TV shows, cocktails, red wine, beer, YouTube, twitter, instagram, Jewellery, accessories, celebrities, gossip blogs, nails, business plans, movies, church, family, friends.

Excited to see what 2014 brings!!!!!

Won’t be long before my next post!

With love,
RDxxx

Let’s Talk About Dreams

17 Oct

 

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I do not recall when I first grasped that I was not one of those people who were destined to win a raffle draw at every funfair they attend. It’s good I realised that because for that reason I never play the lottery even though I still make plans of spending the money will win one day. I mean a girl can dream right? I do not play but I could still win. On an average a weekly player of the lottery here in the UK spends £150 a year!!! Yup and well last I checked there is a one in one million chance of winning the lottery, but on an average of 2 million play the lottery every day out of 62 million people in the UK. Okay that’s not so bad I am actually in the majority of cynical people, who have realised that they will have to work hard to get what they want in life, or have simply  decided to live of the government and tax payers by  receiving benefits for the rest of their life’s.

I have had this conversation with a lot of people I know that play the lottery and always tell them the odds of them winning, and even after they agree with me that they most likely will never win, it still does not stop them from playing. A line that stands out from one of these conversations I had was “well, you never know”. Yes that’s true you never know, but but BUT STILL! Some part of me just feels that I would not win because I do not deserve to, I have not had a near death experience, an abusive child hood, and I am definitely not mentally impaired so why would the forces of the earth just drop millions of pounds at my door step in exchange for £2.

Let me not deceive you into thinking that I am not a risk taker, because I actually play online poker and bet occasionally on football matches that I know nothing about on my Ladbrokes account, hey! You win some you lose some.

Are my dreams big? Yes they are even beyond massive. I just do not focus on easy ways to the top; I truly believe I have to start from the bottom. Something happened this year that made me realise that I was not thanking God enough for my present, but was too focussed making requests for tomorrow. It was a wakeup call when I realised that what you have now, no matter how little can be taken in an instance and until it’s gone you then realise it was not so bad after all.

New Friends, Old Friends, And the Rest

25 Jul

I sing along with Drake to no new friends

I wish I could meet new cool people every day though

Sometimes we outgrow old friends and the new inspire

And the rest that were never true, go as fast as you came

People who do not know you feel they have an opinion

People who you thought knew you never had a clue

People who said they loved you never considered your feelings

People who you just met take you down the road never travelled

The road never travelled may finally take me to my desination

A Day to Remember

23 Jun

ABSTRACT
“Thirty days had September, April, June and November all the rest have 31 except February which has twenty eight days and twenty nine days in a leap year”(class chants).Teacher: Now John stand up and tell the class how many days there are in March. John: (stands up looks round the class before speaking) there are 31 days in March. Teacher: Everyone clap for John (kpa kpa..kpa kpa kpa everyone claps for John and John smiles). As a child in Nigeria this is an example of what I learnt in Nursery or Primary school not so sure what level now. At some point may be Primary two or three I had to write creative writing essays such as “My favourite person”( I would debate whether to write about mummy or daddy), “A day you will never forget”( I would debate whether to make up my perfect dream day or write about yesterday).
A day to remember
There are many days I remember and probably will never forget. Oh like the day I saw him for the first time, he was so cute I was scared to touch him at first. He was so tiny with red patches on his face. Granny held him and I looked at him so wowed and went into the hospital ward to hug mummy and she says “do you like your new brother” and I say “yes but when are you coming home”. Oh what of the only,first and last day I saw my dad cry, I had recently turned eight. I mean it’s my dad the definition of a true African Man in tears; well it was at Papa’s funeral. I expected women to cry but watching him and his 5 brothers’ cry was quite gripping. I guess they were allowed to grief the loss of their father but nonetheless it left me bewildered with the knowledge that even the strongest of men do cry. 
This day was sometime early last year. I woke up early in the morning and within an hour found myself in a moving car listening to my then old generation 2gb IPod. My cool sister put all the songs in there and all I can say is I was listening to good tunes. In about two hours or maybe three if you were there you would have spotted me coming out of the car in a foreign city wearing a dress, black jacket, tights and black pumps. I was seated near the front of the church so I could see the pulpit and casket surrounded with flowers clearly. I cannot remember now if it was a Catholic, an Anglican or a Methodist church. I do not remember if I herd any one say Hail Mary or if the prayers were long. But I am sure I was in a church at the funeral of a lady I had never met in my life. From the programme I gather that she left behind a husband, two daughters and a son and many loved ones. Her son reads a bible passage with coldness in his eyes. Her husband is in tears professing how much he loved her and how much he will miss her. Her brother gives a captivating speech of his best friend who always supported, motivated and inspired him. A Christian group say how much she contributed to them. This congregation was full and this was a week day and I wonder how many of these people ever met her unlike me. I sing the hymns wondering if it is right for me to be there. I read her biography but still I do not know her and now I cannot summon up what her name was.

I am in the car again and stepping out at a cemetery. I feel the water pouring, sadly it’s raining. I am given an umbrella which I share with a partner. I am at the grave side again I question if it is right for me to be there. Would this lovely lady that has passed away find my being there disrespectful? Songs are sung by choir, the pastor or the priest say prayers. And then one of the most moving scenes I have ever witnessed occurred. Her husband shovels in sand into the grave crying someone holding on to him. He is saying stuff I cannot utterly hear from where I am standing. Her eldest daughter that looks nothing more than 14 years old shovelled in sand to the grave wailing and crying saying mummy over and over. When it came to her son’s turn he still had the coldness I had seen in his eyes in the church. He shovelled in sand with so much anger. My eyes became watery; he had no tears in his eyes. It was as if he was angry at his late mother for dying of cancer. He moved back and looked away watching the people crying as if he was irritated and dismayed with their grief. More and more people shovelled in sand I remember a woman who struggled to walk to the grave with the aid of her walking stick. The rain was still pouring heavily and I remembered stories I heard in Nigeria of how people consulted native doctors to hold rain from falling during functions. Or stories of how enemies sent rain to obliterate a function. Well I do not think this was the case here as this was in Britain and we all are acquainted with the British weather.

I am in the car again and step out in front of a town hall. And inside there is a buffet of Nigerian cuisine. Jollof rice, pepper soup, assorted meat, moin moin, food and more food. Typical of my people to turn everything to a “come chop” (come and eat) party. I look round and see faces unenthusiastically beginning to smile. Over hear conversations of reunited friends “I’m married now…, it was 5 years ago.., 2 kids” “are you on facebook” (I think why are these forty something year old Nigerians discussing facebook). I look around her husband is talking to people with a plate in his hand smiling; on my way out I catch sight of the back of her son. I could not see his face but I suspect that he was not smiling but I wish that now wherever he is he is smiling. I hope he is not still angry, I hope her beautiful daughters are happy. O I hope there is harmony in their home. And I am grateful to them for having me there. For them I’m sure it was a day of grief for me it was and still is a day to remember.

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Just joined Wor…

14 Jun

Just joined WordPress transferred all my content from 2010 to now from blogspot, hoping to enjoy the blogsphere world here… happy reading 🙂 x

Some Photos 3

1 Jul
Some pictures I took recently, still trying to get a hang of photography, but there you go!…as usual click on the photos to see them full sized xx

Positivity

8 Jun

 oh lol btw these pictures are very unclear they were taken through photo boot on Mac not the best of cameras but will do 😀

With Love,
Rita Diamonds xx